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This is Probably Why You’re Not Attracted to Your BF Anymore
Disclaimer (1)
Before we begin, let me clarify one thing: I am pro-choice.
I believe that women should have the autonomy to decide whether to use contraceptives. Additionally, I will soon be writing an article about the invention of the birth control pill and the misinformation surrounding its creation and intentions. After extensive research, I have concluded that the intentions behind creating the birth control pill were very noble. I realized that I had also been spreading misinformation about the eugenist origins of the pill, and I am working on an article to address this as well.
But here’s the kicker—how many of us really know what we’re getting into when we take "The pill
Women often bear the responsibility of contraception without being fully informed of the potential side effects and long-term implications. It’s wild that we’re just now uncovering these effects, and hormones shouldn’t be handed out like candy without proper education.
Growing up in a conservative African Christian household, birth control wasn’t exactly a topic of open discussion. My parents’ take? “What birth control? Are you a lady of the night?”
So, for most of my life, I steered clear of hormonal contraceptives. But when I finally tried them in my early 20s for a short time only, my hormones went haywire and my body fully rejected these new foreign chemicals and that got me thinking—how do these pills mess with your body and your relationships long-term?
I am not sure how I feel about Sarah hill at the moment but her book Your Brain on Birth Control is a must-read if you’re curious about how birth control pills can screw up your relationships.
According to Hill, studies show that women who met their partners while on the pill and then stopped taking it often felt less happy in their relationships and were more likely to get divorced.
This might be why you’re suddenly not into your boyfriend anymore, LOL.
Feel free to replace BF with GF or Partner. though I feel that this is the case in heterosexual relationships but I could be wrong!
Here’s the crazy part birth control changes who you’re attracted to. Women on the pill tend to go for nurturing, supportive guys—because their bodies think they’re pregnant. But when they stop the pill, they might suddenly find themselves attracted to more genetically different and physically appealing guys. Again, this might explain why your boyfriend just doesn’t do it for you anymore.
One study took this even further—women described their ideal partner to a sketch artist while on and off birth control. The differences in the sketches were wild, showing just how much the pill can change what you find attractive.
The research and claims in this area may benefit from further exploration and refinement. It is important to consider that while scientists strive for objectivity, there may be instances where discussions around feminine and masculine traits could be perceived as oversimplified and influenced by a Eurocentric perspective. It is worth noting that traits perceived as feminine or masculine can vary across different cultures. For example, Ethiopian and Asian men may possess characteristics that could be considered fine or delicate in Western contexts but are valued differently within their cultural frameworks.
It's important to approach these studies with caution to avoid being influenced in any way. It's worth remembering that everyone is different, and attraction is a complex and multifaceted phenomenon. Additionally, the field of science is continually evolving, and we are constantly discovering new insights.
In other words use your thinking hat not the tinfoil kind :)
Now that we know all of this let's dive back into the questions raised in these researches.
When women stop birth control, they might feel all over the place because their natural cycles are coming back. This confusion can seriously mess with their relationships.
I have never been on the pill and I’ve noticed that my attraction to my partner changes with my cycle.
During the luteal and menstrual phases, I want my partner to be more nurturing.
During the follicular and ovulatory phases, I’m all about that pure physical attraction.
I do not associate these traits with masculinity or femininity but I can understand why western researchers might attribute those traits to gender.
These ups and downs in attraction make sense because of my cycle, and my partner is aware and flows with the cycle as well.
It’s not that women on the pill only want nurturing guys— I feel like they’re just stuck in one constant hormonal phase.
So when they get off the pill well they realize they've maybe entered a relationship with someone good on paper but just not hormonally attractive. Some studies then see a correlation in starting or stopping the pill with divorce.
Sarah Hill’s Your Brain on Birth Control is a must-read. It shows how these pills affect our brains, relationships, and choices. My own experiences line up with her findings. We need to understand our natural rhythms and make informed decisions.
For more insights, check out these resources:
Relationship satisfaction and outcome in women who meet their partner while using oral contraception
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